She was overjoyed at the unannounced visit and made a pot of tea for the both of us and sat down at the kitchen table together. Then I told her what I had come to tell her and she simply sat, stunned.My reaction was to get defencive. "Mom, I hate how he treats you!" I reached out and took one of her hands in both of my own, holding and stroking it tenderly.Mother was looking at our hands when the tears welled up in her eyes. Finally through a cracking voice, mother finally responded, "And where would I go Jim?"I didn't say a word. For one thing, from the tone of her voice I knew she did not expect an answer - hell, both of us knew she had no where to go. No friends, no family, no money... nothing.But she has me. "You could stay at my place mom... !" I was about to add that she could move out when she got back on her feet - isn't that what I'm supposed to say?Mom yanked her hand from my own and took a lengthy sip of her tea. Whens her eyes returned to my own, I saw that the tears had. As in punishment yes it hurt but it enough to push the point accost that I need to straighten up, and change my ways, or just quit being a brat. As of 5/19/2013 I can say I can walk with Kejala and not let a lot of pain bother me. If it does I have someone I can turn too, when I’m really hurt, pissed, or even upset, or something bothering me. He’s like my right hand. When he is not by my side, He’s always with me. He can get anything out of me. I am ok with that. I love his warm cuddle at movie or bed time. I can say I am always ready to see him when were apart. My heart is starting to fill the hole that’s there. I can say it would be hard to play with someone else because it would destroy me. I am ok with a 3 or 4 sum. But nothing more. Kejala has my heart and I’m not going to let that go. I want to be with him and no one else. Can my love for him has grown. I don’t regret fall for him. Yes it will affect the k**s, but in time it will all work out. He helped me from braking down,.
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